“You know what, i really never cared what she said about me..i mean i don’t think she is so important for my attention that i listen to what she bitched about me! Let her say, my time will come and i ain’t leaving any chance for a double force revenge ! Huh !”
“Oh my god! Did you hear that? That sweet girl, there at the corner, my friend told me that she loved my gown! That she also wants to dress like me. Tonight’s party is worth spending! So many people appreciated my dress. Am i seriously looking that cute?
Awwe i think that sweet little girl is more cute than me. She is so nice!”
(These things happen….)
Psychology says that a very common way to start a conversation between two people is starting a topic about a third person. And its even true. Start analysing it in everyday life and you will find it true that even you would start talking to someone about some third person.
The topic maybe anything. It may be the dressing style or the way they represent themselves, the way they speak or maybe the way they check out on you! Some past history they had or any recent incident. It may be anything.
Now, let me tell you the bitter truth about this very famous habit. This habit is the first glance of someone who is highly under-confident.
Yes! Its true.
Its not only about ‘starting the conversation’ its also about the topic which we are talking on. Approaching someone for a talk is another thing, but… what are you talking about?? That defines a lot about you. In our comfortable language, it is often referred to as ‘ back-bitching’.
Ohh, girls… they love this, gossips are the inseparable part.
Come on, now i am being very blunt… you say you are living in the 21st century, accept the fact that boys of this era are too not leaving any chance of back- bitching!! And we can accept, no one is left in the innocent or *not giving a f… * category…
So now, let’s not hide our faces and accept that we all are ‘under-confident’ and this habit is now a day to day activity for us. We are casually always like…
“Dude! What does she think about herself? She is refusing me.. what better she has that anyone would approach her? Huh! She can’t wear high heels for more than five minutes due to her big tummy! Blah !”
“Huh! You looking at that girl?” “Yeah! She’s kinda hot !” “Really! Don’t you joke! She bought those heels for 200 in a sale! And her necklace, that’s borrowed from my friend, and those earings.. well they cost 20 roadside. Now say..!”
“Dude i am not going to leave him now. He borrowed 500bucks last month and now refusing me. He is showing attitude from the day he came in relationship with that girl. He is a poor brat, i am not leaving him, and you are going to help me kick his ass off infront of his girl!”
So these small dialogues define alot about these people, be it girl or boys, they are spitting ill without getting any benefits in return. Rather they are themselves creating small and unwanted issues in there happy going life.
What if you are appreciating someone?? That’s seriously not being a coward.
“Dude, that girl refused me, i just want to cry hard i can’t let her go with anyone else. You know, in any way she looks, she is so kind and soft spoken.”
“Hey, you looking at that girl?” “Yeah, she’s kinda hot!” “Yeah, she is one of my classmates, she looks great in these dresses,usually she wears so casual clothes, she looks so pretty now!”
“Dude, you know he isn’t returning money. He borrowed 500 bucks last month and now he’s ignoring me. I wish to talk and sort out things when he is not with his girl.”
So you see, there is a very very fine line between this ..
When you are talking ill and unwanted stuff about someone, you are actually showing them how they are so superior to you. They are having everything that you dont have, and you are showing off your jealousy. You show how under-confident you are with what you have and how much you desire to be like them.
Now, attend the other case, when you appreciate someone, behind their back, it actually somewhere shows that you respect and love everything you have, and you are happy to appreciate others of their blessings.
Suppose in a party someone walks past you wearing a beautiful outfit, you tell your friend about how that dress is attracting you and how that person fits so well in it. You show your positive vibes in this manner. It won’t be counted as ‘under-confidence’ then, it would be stated that you have that incredible ability to make people feel happy but you are just not able to convey your message to them.
And now imagine, you say ill about one of your friends during his/her absence. In some way he/she gets to know your statement. The result is the sourness in your relationship with them.
Whereas, you compliment your colleague, and they would give you a nice big smile with a blush. Yes you accomplished to make someone smile!
We all have experienced how it feels when someone passes a bad comment behind our back, and someone compliments us..
Now you have to choose that either you want to
enhance your confidence by stop talking bad about people and learn how to compliment someone and make them feel confident in what they are doing.
Carry on in a wrong direction and keep loosing people
Have a happy and confident day!